Last Obsessive Compulsive Command
by JediYvette
Summary: Episode 9


The Last Obsessive Compulsive Command   
Obsessive Compulsive Star Wars-Episode 9   
  
Disclaimer: Do I really have to put anything here? No, I do not own Star Wars.   
  
Note: Many of the characters used in this story are from Timothy Zahn's Thrawn Trilogy-This story will make no sense if you haven't read any of the 3 books. You should read them anyway-they are just so awesome!   
  
  
Luke was busy vacuuming the Smuggler's Union building carpeting when Mara Jade walked in, arms full with 2 grocery sacks. "No!" he screamed seeing her, stopping Mara in her tracks. "Wipe your feet!" he shouted over the rumbling of the vacuum, "I just vacuumed there." Obediently, she walked to the welcome mat, and wiped off the mud from her feet, then walked in, loudly speaking to Luke, "Why are you here, aren't you supposed to be training Jedi or something?" Luke, vacuum still in had stared at Mara, replying, "Maybe after this rug finally is completely cleaned. Now where is that steam cleaner?" Rolling her eyes, Mara walked into her office, and dumped out the contents of her grocery bag. "I can't believe Fred Meyer had a sale on Beanie Babies," she replied, as the stuffed bean bag toys cascaded from her sack. "This Siamese Kitty is so cute!"   
  
"Stupid plastic wrapper!" Joruus C'baoth muttered, as he was opening his newest movie purchase, "Land Before Time 24." He was so excited to find the first day it came out. Excitedly, after finally tearing off the plastic, and throwing it on the ground, he shoved the tape into the VCR and began to sing along with the opening song. That is when Grand Admiral Thrawn walked in. Picking up Joruus's garbage, he muttered, "This is littering and that is bad for the environment. You shouldn't buy things that contain excess amounts of unnecessary wrapping." Of course Joruus was not listening--Little Foot and Cera were fighting again. Sighing, plastic in hand, Thrawn walked out.   
  
Talon Karrde stood over the pan, mixing random ingredients, such as cocoa powder, tuna fish, and pineapple. He was trying to create a recipe he could sell to Martha Stewart and make millions of dollars--the process was not going well. Gagging, after tasting his concoction, he replied, "Maybe I should add some seasonings...Where is that cayenne pepper?"   
  
"What in the world is this?" demanded Thrawn as he pulled out a pop can from the garbage can of the cafeteria. When none of his minions replied, he boomed, "This is recyclable. How do you think you can save the environment by throwing this stuff away!" Angered by his lackey's insensitivity to the precious environment, he slammed the door to the lunch room, and ran to the Imperial Leaders Save the Environment meeting, for which he was chairman of. No one else showed up.   
  
"Talon," Mara asked as she was leaving for the Beanie Baby convention, "What are you making? It smells like a dead ewok." Insulted by Mara's cruel comment, he defensively replied, "I am making my secret Karrde stew. And since you seem to already dislike it, you don't get any." Then with a huff, turned around, and grabbed a head of cabbage and commenced dicing it into little pieces, and dropped them all into the stew. With Mara still staring at him, on the brink of laughing, he pulled out his electric mixer and furiously whipped the cabbage in. "Have you seen the curry powder?" he asked Mara, but she was already out the door, exclaiming something about being late to her convention. Sighing, he dug throw his spice rack, but could not find curry powder. "Garlic powder?" he replied, pulling out a container of seasoning, "I think that is close enough."   
  
"Where are your Little Foot jammies?" Joruus asked a salesperson at the local Target, "I can't seem to find them." The Target employee stared at Joruus, and replied, "In the boys section--there is a shelf with them on it." Excitedly, Joruus ran to the boy's clothes, and searched for the pajamas. "Hey," he exclaimed when he found them, and started searching for his size, "These only go up to boy's extra large. I can't fit that!" Angrily, he pushed all the pajamas off their shelf, and stormed out of the store, yelling, "Why can't they make Land Before Time pajamas for adults?"   
  
Sitting on the Smuggler's Union building's floor, Luke examined each piece of carpeting with a magnified glass. "Finally it is complete!" he joyously exclaimed, "This rug is clean!" With that, Luke got up from the ground, and started to gather his cleaning supplies. However, at that moment, Talon walked in the room, with his "Stew" in hand. "It is complete!" he said, raising it above him triumphantly. "Would you like to try some?" Talon asked Luke. Declining, Luke remarked, "It smells like a dead ewok." Angered, Talon declared, "Your loss. When Martha Stewart buys this recipe, I will make millions while you will still be a poor Jedi instructor. So there." Sticking his tongue out, Talon started to walk out of the room. Unfortunately, he tripped over the vacuum cord, and his masterpiece flew through the air. "NO!" screamed Luke, and as the soup hit the floor, he fell to his knees, with his face distorted in anguish. "The humanity!" he sobbed, as he stared at the once perfect carpet. Talon, too, stared at the ground, muttering "The humanity! I lost my chance to be a millionaire."   
  
"Don't any of you care that you are destroying the galaxy with your thoughtless acts regarding garbage?" Thrawn asked his minions during a battle briefing, "The galaxy is running out of space to store your trash. We must recycle. NO MORE POP CANS IN THE TRASH!" Lifting a blue container from the ground, he announced, "This is where your old Coke cans go. UNDERSTOOD?" The other imperials stared at Thrawn, nodding. "Good," Thrawn replied, "Now lets all save the earth!" With that, he dismissed his lackeys. However, they left behind hundreds of Cheetos wrappers, and Pepsi cans. "When will they ever learn?" Thrawn asked somberly.   
  
"What in all that is holy happen in here?" Mara replied, as she entered smuggler's building, "It smells like a dead ewok in here." Luke, staring up from the carpet, steam cleaner in hand, replied sadly, "Talon spilled his creation on the floor." Panicking, Mara replied, "This god awful scent will lower my Beanie Babies' value! This is my livelihood we are talking about! What am I going to do?"   
  
Angered by the Imperial Environmental League turn out, Thrawn entered the TV room, and found Joruus watching his Land Before Time Sing along tape. Because e had nothing else to channel his anger through, Thrawn evilly remarked, "Little Foot is dead, you know." Joruus stared horrified at Thrawn. After several minutes of troubled silence, Joruus finally screamed, "NO! LIAR!" and ran from the room. Then he hid amongst his dinosaur stuffed animals, crying, "Little Foot." Eventually, he picked himself up from the bed, found his Little Foot stuffed animal, and commented, "See, you are too alive!"   
  
"Martha Stewart didn't buy it! She said it semmed like a dead ewok." a shocked Talon Karrde relied. "NO MATTER!" he then screamed, "I'll sell it on my own! When I make my millions she will be sorry!" and he ran out of the room. Mara, was staring at the floor shaking her head, "My Beanie Babies..." She never should have placed them into Luke's care. After a mental breakdown and cleaning frenzy, the were all stuck up Luke's steam cleaner. Luke sat on the floor, trying to pull them out, but to no prevail. Finally, Mara grabbed the stem cleaner, and a crow bar near by, and started to hit the plastic casing. Luke was too shocked to move, in horrified awe of the destruction. Finally, Mara pulled out her Beanie Babies, victorious, dropping the crow bar onto the demolished steam cleaner. Breaking his dismayed silence, Luke grabbed the cleaner's handle, quietly sobbing, "Jimmy, you didn't deserve this demise! The humanity!!!"   
  
The End 


End file.
